Artist and entrepreneur Sandra Vlachakis has spoken publicly about the physical grief she felt after losing her five-day-old daughter, Sonja. She is calling for bereavement support in Denmark that addresses the body, not only the mind.
DR reported on August 19, 2026 that Vlachakis lost Sonja on Mother’s Day last year. The baby died five days after birth, following an emergency cesarean section. Vlachakis was granted six months of bereavement leave, known in Danish as sorgorlov.
Speaking to DR’s radio program P1 Morgen, Vlachakis said her breast milk came in on the morning her daughter died. Her body, she explained, was biologically ready to care for a child who was no longer there. She describes the longing that followed as physical and almost animal-like.
Vlachakis raised the same theme in a debate article published by Politiken on August 18, 2026. In it she writes that she no longer believes there is a meaning in everything. She also questions why none of the doctors, psychologists, therapists, nurses and health visitors she met spoke to her about motherhood.
According to DR, Vlachakis accepted help in a grief group, in grief therapy and from a crisis psychologist during the first six weeks. That support helped in the early period, but she says something was still missing. She felt she had gained a new identity as a mother that nobody around her could see, leaving her homeless in her own motherhood.
Researcher: grief hurts physically
Her account matches what researchers describe, DR notes. Dorte Hvidtjørn is a lecturer and PhD at Aarhus University and has worked as a midwife for 30 years. She has studied loss in pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period for more than a decade and interviewed 1,500 women and partners.
Hvidtjørn told P1 Morgen that losing a baby is a deeply bodily experience, because the body is set up to be a mother and to care for the child. She said grief hurts physically, causing pain in the chest and stomach, tension in the shoulders, and symptoms that can last a long time. Per Hvidtjørn, a woman who has given birth is a mother whether the child lives or dies.
Vlachakis visits Sonja’s grave at Assistens Cemetery as a way of keeping the relationship alive. She now facilitates ceramics classes and training sessions for mothers who have lost a child. She says she did not feel able to join standard postnatal rehabilitation classes, fearing she would appear as other mothers’ worst nightmare.
Asked what she wants from the health system and politicians, Vlachakis said she wants a review of which offers actually speak to the body. She is calling for political backing and more grief support aimed specifically at bereaved women.
DR states that it contacted Danske Regioner for a response to Vlachakis’ criticism of the health system. The organization had not replied before the article was published.
