New Survey Reveals Danish Parents Don’t Talk About Death

Steven Højlund

Writer

January 23, 2026
5:03 pm

A new survey reveals that half of Danish children aged 9-14 rarely or never talk with their parents about death, and one in five believe adults don’t discuss the topic enough with them. Experts from Denmark’s National Center for Grief offer practical advice on how parents can start these important conversations.

It’s a question many parents have faced. Your child climbs onto the couch and asks what happens when someone dies. Finding the right words can feel challenging. Even though death is one of the most natural and unavoidable parts of life, many children feel their parents rarely bring it up.

Survey Reveals Gap in Parent-Child Communication

According to a new survey conducted by Epinion for DR Ultra Nyt, 53 percent of children between 9 and 14 years old rarely or never discuss death with their parents or other adults. Even more telling, 20 percent of the children surveyed believe adults don’t talk enough with them about this topic.

So how can parents bridge this communication gap? Preben Engelbrekt, director and founder of Denmark’s National Center for Grief, offers four practical recommendations for starting these conversations.

Listen to Your Child’s Questions

Children are naturally curious about death. At the National Center for Grief, which serves as Denmark’s knowledge and competence center on grief-related matters, staff have found that children typically have many questions about what dying means.

Parents should be ready to answer these questions instead of pushing them aside. Otherwise, they risk signaling to their child that death is taboo. As a general rule, it makes sense to talk with virtually all children about death, according to Engelbrekt. This is fundamentally a parenting responsibility that shouldn’t cause fear.

Start With Conversations About Dead Pets

One accessible entry point into discussing death involves the family pet. For many families, the death of a guinea pig or dog represents the first significant loss a child experiences.

This can be an ideal opportunity to talk about death. Engelbrekt suggests creating a ceremony or funeral for the pet. Interestingly, many children’s books address animals dying, which can serve as helpful conversation starters.

Address Death Before It Hits Close to Home

Starting conversations about death before it directly affects the family is beneficial. It’s an important developmental element for children, similar to how parents help prepare them for other life challenges.

Parents know their child will eventually need to deal with some form of death. By having general conversations about death before it comes close, children can develop an understanding of death as a natural condition rather than something purely emotional and difficult.

Families can visit deceased grandparents at the cemetery and try to normalize this aspect of life. There’s no need for every interaction with death to be intensely emotional.

Use the Concrete Word “Dead”

While it may sound obvious, this advice is actually quite important. Many parents rewrite death using phrases like “passed away” or “went to sleep peacefully.” This can be problematic, especially for younger children who think very concretely.

When parents describe death as “going to sleep,” some children may become afraid of bedtime. They might worry they won’t wake up again, just like grandma didn’t. A clear recommendation is to avoid rewriting death and instead use the word “dead.”

Making Death Part of Natural Conversation

Despite the discomfort some adults feel, addressing death with children serves as preparation for inevitable life experiences. By creating space for these conversations early and often, parents help their children develop healthy perspectives on mortality.

The survey results suggest many Danish families could benefit from more open dialogue about death. Rather than treating it as something scary or forbidden, parents can frame death as a natural part of the life cycle that deserves honest, age-appropriate discussion.

When children feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their thoughts about death, they’re better equipped to process grief when it eventually touches their lives. This emotional preparation can make difficult experiences more manageable and less frightening.