After losing her unborn son, Danish midwife Betina Krogh Hansen insisted on giving birth the natural way to say goodbye properly. Her decision brought healing to her family and inspired an open conversation about grief and motherhood in Denmark.
A heartbreaking discovery in the delivery room
When Danish midwife Betina Krogh Hansen arrived at the hospital ready to give birth on her due date, medical staff could not detect a heartbeat from her baby. Her world turned upside down in an instant. As a healthcare professional herself, she understood what was happening, yet nothing could prepare her emotionally for the moment she realized her child had died.
Even in the midst of her grief, she remembered something a psychologist once said: “You must say hello before you can say goodbye.” The words stayed with her. They reminded her that letting the birth happen naturally, even though the baby was no longer alive, could help her and her family begin to process the loss.
Krogh Hansen explained that although a cesarean could have been an option, giving birth naturally helped her mind and body align. She and her husband decided to return home for the night and came back the next day to deliver their son. It gave them time to breathe and prepare for what was to come.
Bringing baby Noah home
Their son, Noah, was born still. Instead of saying goodbye right away at the hospital, the family brought him home in a specially designed cooling box. Krogh Hansen said it was the right choice for them. They wanted their two older children to meet their little brother, to understand and feel that he had been part of their family.
For a week, they kept Noah with them. They held him, looked at him, and took in the small details they would never forget. It was painful but also comforting to have that time together.
The family remained practical too. Because Noah needed to be examined, they knew they only had a few days before he had to be returned to the hospital. But within that time, the family was able to process their emotions in their own space and at their own pace.
A family unafraid to talk about loss
When it was finally time to plan the funeral, Krogh Hansen described the experience as deeply painful. Seeing a baby-sized coffin was, in her words, “as wrong as something could be.” Still, she and her husband wanted openness. They invited friends and family to attend, believing it would be easier to move forward if the people around them also acknowledged their baby and their pain.
For her, talking about Noah was important. It helped normalize grief and start healing. The couple encouraged others to ask about him rather than avoiding the subject. That openness, she said, made the loss less isolating.
Finding hope again
In time, the couple decided to try for another child. They did not want to end their parenting journey with a burial. The pregnancy brought anxiety, and every milestone reminded them of what had gone wrong before. As a midwife, she knew too well the risks and what could happen.
Eventually, however, their hope was restored with the birth of a healthy baby girl. The family of five now keeps Noah’s memory alive with love and honesty. His name remains part of their everyday lives, a symbol of both heartbreak and strength.
Support for families in Denmark
Experiences like Betina Krogh Hansen’s show how important mental health and emotional care are for grieving parents. Many Danish families turn to therapists or personal counseling when faced with such trauma. Resources such as psychologists in Denmark can be crucial for helping parents process grief.
At the same time, parents in Denmark benefit from one of the world’s most family-centered support systems, including flexible parental leave and access to childcare in Denmark once they are ready to return to everyday life. These structures, alongside Denmark’s open approach to mental wellbeing, help families recover and regain balance after loss.
In the end, Betina Krogh Hansen’s story is not only about tragedy. It is about giving love one final moment, finding closure, and daring to live again.
Sources and References
The Danish Dream: Childcare in Denmark Guide for Expats
The Danish Dream: Best Psychologists in Denmark for Foreigners
TV2: Jordemoder insisterede på at føde dødt barn, så hun kunne sige farvel
