DR has published three questions from conflict mediator Signe Saxe Jessen intended to help people move on from an argument, together with the pitfall she says to avoid.
The public broadcaster DR reported on Saturday that Jessen has picked out three favorites from a set of 25 questions she developed for stalled conflicts. She has worked with conflict mediation for more than 20 years.
According to DR, the aim of the questions is to create new understanding, identify underlying needs and encourage shared responsibility. Couples argue about children, finances, misunderstandings and electricity prices, the broadcaster notes.
The three questions
The three questions, as listed by DR, are whether there is something the other person really wants you to understand about them, what that person fundamentally needed from you, and what responsibility each side can take in the conflict.
Jessen says a conversation that circles only opinions and feelings can end up going nowhere. Much conflict material comes from misunderstandings, because people analyze and interpret a great deal, per her account to DR.
The second question is meant to move past the surface issue, such as who did the dishes. As explained by Jessen, the answer may instead reveal a need to be able to rely on the other person.
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Taking responsibility is decisive for moving forward, Jessen told DR, and the third question makes that responsibility mutual. She stresses that the responsibility should be voluntary rather than assigned by the other party.
The pitfall
The biggest pitfall, according to Jessen, is placing justice at the top of the agenda instead of showing empathy. She urges people to let go of the idea that a conflict must end with a shared verdict on right and wrong.
Jessen is the resident expert on DR’s new podcast Konflikteksperimentet, where the 25 questions are tested on real people in real conflicts. The host is Petra Nagel, who has not worked professionally with conflicts but is married and a mother of three.
The first episode premiered in DR Lyd on September 15, 2026, according to DR’s own press overview of upcoming programs. The program is available through DR Lyd.
The podcast deals with conflicts between couples, friends, housemates, neighbors and colleagues, according to Radio Danmark. As reported by Alt om kendte on September 7, 2026, Nagel has returned to DR to host the format, which is built around Jessen’s 25 questions.
