Danish friendship researcher Marie-Elisabeth Lei Pihl says people meet their friends in person less often, and argues that friendships may need to be built into everyday practical tasks.
In an interview published on September 5, 2026, DR reported that Pihl raises the idea of a friendship recession. She spoke on the DR podcast Ubegribeligt, where she said research shows physical socializing is falling markedly.
According to DR, Pihl holds a PhD on friendship and identity. She is the author of the book Venskab: Fra Aristoteles til Snapchat. She notes that people hold fewer parties and invite fewer people than before.
Pihl told the podcast that some researchers disagree with the recession framing. Those who include digital life in the picture consider the situation less serious, she said. She maintains that the decline in face to face contact is documented.
An informal and fragile relationship
Friendship differs from family or marriage because it is not formalized, per Pihl. She describes it as fluid, fragile and informal, and points out that no document confirms a friendship. Because it is voluntary, it becomes vulnerable when life gets busy.
She used her own recent birthday as an example. She invited her female friends, and none of them could attend. The reason was not a lack of desire, but children, calendars and logistics, she told DR.
As reported by DR, Pihl says young people are often focused on forming new relationships and becoming independent. Later in life, emotional stability matters more than new friends. Friendships do not become irrelevant, but they are harder to fit into everyday life filled with work, children and obligations.
Shared everyday arrangements
Pihl suggests friendships need not be limited to cozy plans and leisure time. She proposes asking whether friends can form shared frameworks for daily life. Examples she gave include one friend picking up the other’s children on Tuesdays, or cooking together at the weekend.
The point is not to reduce friendship to practical agreements, she said. But shared tasks may make the relationships easier to sustain. She added that such arrangements require calculation and calendar gymnastics.
Pihl also referred to research on shared experience. In studies where participants are asked to walk up a steep hill, the slope feels less steep when a friend is present, she said.
Warning about digital platforms
Pihl warned against letting digital platforms replace physical contact. Social media has created many new ways for people to hurt each other, she said. One example is sharing a major life event and receiving no response.
She described the lack of reciprocity possible in digital spaces without consequences. Sitting face to face, a disclosure such as a divorce could not simply be ignored, she said. When friendships move onto Facebook, Instagram and TikTok, people risk becoming each other’s entertainment.
DR noted that Pihl also discusses the three definitions of friendship described by the Greek philosopher Aristotle. That part of the conversation appears in the Ubegribeligt episode.
