You may have kept hearing that it would be difficult to make friends in Denmark. What you heard wasn’t a lie. The Danish culture has a peculiar approach to friendship. Danes don’t meet you for the first time and start conversing with you as if they’ve known you all their lives. They invest deeply in relationships, often keeping the same close friends they made in kindergarten.
But you don’t have to be friendless here. In this article, you’ll learn how to make friends in Denmark. With a bit of consistency and an open mind, you’ll create and sustain genuine connections with the Danes. Let’s get started.
What Are Danish Cultural Norms?
Before you dive into the arena of friend-making in Denmark, you need to understand how their culture works. Scandinavian culture, with its emphasis on respecting distance, speaking quietly, and allowing others their privacy, defines good manners in Denmark. Interfering in someone’s daily life without reason is seen as rude, and what might feel like friendliness in your culture could be perceived as an intrusion here.
For those coming from cultures where interaction is more energetic and privacy is less guarded, this respectful distancing may initially seem cold or even unfriendly. However, Danes are actually considered the more outgoing and chatty of the Scandinavian countries.
In Denmark, small talk and friendly niceties are more common compared to the quieter, more reserved tendencies in the northern parts of Scandinavia. But don’t mistake this for an open invitation everywhere. Danish politeness is less about any ancient social rules and more about respecting public decorum.
Here’s where things shift. When stepping into social spaces like parties, clubs, or volunteer gatherings, there’s an unspoken understanding that conversation and connection are encouraged. In these settings, Danes are much more open to chatting because these are spaces where everyone has essentially consented to interaction.
However, outside of these spaces, Danes take their sweet time getting to know people, which can make them appear “cold and aloof” at first glance. One of the reasons why Danes appear to be so cold to expats is that they form deep bonds with one another from childhood.
Growing up in Denmark, kids often spend years with the same classmates from kindergarten through ninth or tenth grade, building deep bonds simply from seeing each other daily. Outside of school, they socialize with kids on their street, neighborhood friends, and through activities like sports or scouts.
With a small population largely made up of Danes, there’s a strong reliance on known relationships and mutual support. As far as Danes are concerned, strangers (like expats) may come and go, but friends stay, so friendships are seen as valuable investments, built over time.
Can You Use Small Talk to Make Friends in Denmark?
In Denmark, the easiest way to break the ice is to start a conversation about the weather. It’s often chilly and waiting to be discussed. Weather-centric conversations aren’t meant to be deep or profound, but they’re a great way to break the ice, especially with someone new. Beyond that, conversation can be trickier, as personal interests vary widely and finding common ground takes time.
Politics and religion? These are best avoided, especially with people you don’t know well. In Denmark, these topics are private matters, and most Danes won’t discuss them openly, as if inviting someone to talk about politics is like asking them to share a deeply personal secret. Instead, chat about current events or the daily news on a larger, global scale rather than mundane local issues.
Many appreciate a good debate—nothing overly confrontational, but a thoughtful discussion with explanations rather than “just because” statements.
Conversation becomes much easier with a shared hobby or interest. Cars, fishing, football, or music—stumble upon someone who shares your passion, and there you go! These topics are safe ground, where Danes feel comfortable letting conversation flow.
Expect honesty, directness, and even some light sarcasm or irony, which are very common. Danish humor can be dry, so if a comment sounds blunt, it’s worth noting the expression or smile behind it—often, that’s a sign it’s meant playfully.
Respect for personal boundaries is important here. Random chats with strangers aren’t a thing unless you’re asking for directions or practical help. Danes are happy to assist but don’t expect a conversation to follow.
Likewise, don’t mention ambitions or make the conversation about personal successes; these are often seen as unnecessary and even a little awkward. Instead, mention what you’re passionate about, or simply talk about making the world a better place.
Do You Need to Learn Danish to Make Friends in Denmark?
No, you don’t need to learn Danish to make friends in Denmark. In Scandinavia, things start off in the local language—always. Whether it’s Sweden, Denmark, or Norway, people expect to chat in their own tongue, assuming everyone around them will understand. A Swede meets a Swede; they speak Swedish. Same for Danes and Norwegians. And there’s a strong likelihood they’ll understand each other’s languages, at least on a basic level.
Only when it’s clear the other person doesn’t get it—maybe a blank stare or a confused pause—do Scandinavians switch to English, and even then, it’s with the idea that English is just the back-up.
There’s a bit of a reputation to Danish. The Danes themselves know that it’s a tough language to pick up, even for neighboring Swedes and Norwegians. The pronunciation is slightly slippery. But if you try to speak Danish, you’ll usually win some admiration, even if it’s rough around the edges. Danes see this as a sign of respect, especially if you’re living in Denmark for the long haul. They get a kick out of it but appreciate it nonetheless.
That said, it’s good to know when it’s best to just switch to English. Rush hour in a busy supermarket? Trying to work your way through a packed line while fumbling through Danish might earn you a polite smile, but it’ll likely get you switched to English real fast. But in a relaxed setting, maybe a café or a low-key gathering, they’re happy to encourage your Danish skills, even helping with pronunciation here and there.
If you’re bent on winning points, don’t shy away from saying “rød grød med fløde” when you’re challenged to do so. This tongue-twister is the unofficial badge of honor for anyone trying to speak Danish. Nail it, and you’ll practically be a local hero.
Stumble through it, and you’ll get laughs all around—but friendly laughs. If you want to level the field, ask them to try a phrase from your own language, especially after a couple of beers, and watch them laugh at themselves just as hard.
Tips to Make Friends in Denmark
Join Local Clubs and Organizations to Meet Like-minded Individuals
One of the best ways to make friends in Denmark is by joining local clubs, organizations, or sports teams. These groups provide a common ground for shared interests and help facilitate natural friendships. Check out local apps like VINA, Hey!, and Meetup.
Also consider joining Facebook groups created for foreigners in Denmark. Explore websites like Internations and Expatica, which offer resources, events, and online forums where you can meet and share experiences with other expats living in Denmark.
Share Common Hobbies and Interests to Share
Here’s a list of interesting things to do in Denmark that will help you make friends:
- Swim in Copenhagen harbor – Enjoy urban swimming spots in the capital.
- Go boating – Take a boat ride around Copenhagen or other Danish waterways.
- Take a trip to a summer house – Visit a summer house in Sweden or scenic parts of Denmark.
- Join a group activity – Get involved in a chorus, sports club (like badminton or tennis), or take a local class.
- Visit Danish beaches – Explore some of Denmark’s finest beaches, ideal for cold-water swims.
- Watch cows chew the cud – A rural pastime that offers a quirky taste of Denmark’s countryside.
- Go motorbiking – Take a motorbike ride around Denmark’s scenic routes.
- Engage in “smartphoning” – Like many Danes, spend some time on your smartphone, a popular activity here.
Participate in Danish Festivals and Holidays
As we mentioned earlier, Denmark has a rich cultural calendar with numerous festivals and holidays throughout the year. Attending these events provides a unique opportunity to bond with locals over shared experiences and traditions. Some popular celebrations to consider include:
- Fastelavn
- Sankthansaften
- Copenhagen Pride, and
- Julefrokost.
Volunteering and Community Involvement
Volunteering is a fantastic way to meet new people while also giving back to the community. Denmark offers various volunteering opportunities, from helping at local food banks to participating in environmental initiatives. Here’s a list of sites where you can find volunteering opportunities in Denmark:
Have a ‘Hyggelig’ Time
If you can make friends in Denmark, you’ll hygge many times. Hygge is one of those Danish concepts that doesn’t have a direct translation. It’s not just coziness, despite what American articles might say. Sure, a warm living room with candles and a good book might feel hyggelig, but hygge goes deeper. It’s about feeling comfortable and relaxed, a quality that can be found in small, everyday moments that aren’t staged or planned.
For Danes, hygge could be a laid-back weekend, an office gathering that felt particularly friendly, or even a casual dinner with a friend. The idea isn’t to create a perfect setup but to let things unfold naturally. When Danes say their weekend was hyggelig, they don’t mean there was a lot of effort put into making it “just so.” Instead, they’re describing that sense of ease and closeness that happened on its own.
This isn’t a seasonal ritual brought out when it’s cold or raining. Hygge is simply an everyday part of life. Whether friends are sharing a laugh over coffee, people are quietly reading in the same room, or everyone’s sitting around after a meal, it’s all hygge.
Even a busy evening spent making Christmas treats with family, with the Christmas calendar candle burning, can be full of hygge. There’s no strict formula, no checklist of must-haves—hygge is just something that happens when everyone feels at ease.
So, no need for bad weather, hot drinks, or dramatic setups. Hygge is simply what happens when people enjoy a moment together, with or without the candles. Now that you’ve learned what it means to hygge, go ahead and experience it with the friends you’ll make in Denmark.
